You asked for help with one basic task: take the trash out. A little bit later you realize your partner didn’t do it. When you ask why they didn’t do it, your partner says “I never heard you ask me”. Funny how that works, how your partner failed to hear the one thing you requested from them. The colloquial term for this is “selective hearing,” and it’s often a sign of failed communication.
This “selective hearing” is frequently viewed as a sort of character defect. Accusing somebody of selective hearing is implying they weren’t listening to you. But selective hearing could actually be connected to untreated hearing loss instead of a short attention span.
What is selective hearing?
You’ve most likely been accused of selective hearing at some point in your life, even if nobody used that specific term. When you miss all the stuff you don’t want to hear but hear everything else, that’s selective hearing. You hear the part about the chocolate cake, but you don’t hear the part about the calories. That sort of thing.
As a behavior, selective hearing is extremely common. However, most research points to males failing to hear their partners more often than women.
It might be tempting to draw some social conclusions from that (and the way that people are socialized certainly does play a part in how this behavior is contextualized). But hearing health is likely another major factor. If your “selective hearing” begins to become more common, it could be a hint that you may have undiagnosed hearing loss.
Communication can be impacted by hearing loss
Undiagnosed hearing loss can indeed make communication a lot more challenging. That’s most likely not that shocking.
But one notable sign of hearing loss is communication problems.
When hearing loss is in those very early phases, there won’t be a lot of noticeable symptoms. Your tv might get a bit louder. You can’t quite hear what your friend is saying when you stop for a beverage at your local tavern. It’s probably because the music is so loud, right? But besides scenarios like that, you may never even observe how loud day-to-day sounds can be. This lets your hearing gradually decline. You barely notice the problem until you’re at the point where you regularly have difficulty hearing conversations.
Your partner is becoming concerned about the health of your hearing
You will notice some of the people in your life are beginning to be concerned. Yes, selective hearing is a rather common annoyance (even more frustrating when you already feel as if no one is listening to you). But as it happens more and more frequently, aggravation may turn to worry.
So, your partner may suggest you set up a hearing test to find out if something is wrong.
Your partner’s concern is significant and it’s important for you to recognize that. Have an open discussion and consider that they are coming from a place of caring and not just aggravation.
Other early signs of hearing loss
You should watch out for some of the other early warning signs of hearing loss if your selective hearing appears to be getting worse. Here are a few of those signs:
- Difficulty hearing in crowds
- Turning up the volume on your devices
- Requesting that people speak slower and speak up
- Having a difficult time making out consonants
- People sound far-away or muted when they talk
If you experience any of these symptoms, you should call us for a hearing test.
Always protect your hearing
Protecting your hearing is so critical to preventing hearing loss. If you can’t stay away from overly loud noise, be sure you wear hearing protection, like muffs or plugs. Hearing aids can also help you have more effective communication, which can smooth over many rough spots that your hearing loss may have caused in the first place.
A diminishing attention span will be to blame for most selective hearing situations in your life. But when you (or someone around you) observes your selective hearing becoming worse, you might want to take that as a sign that it’s time to get your hearing checked.
